Diana-Kennedy-3.05

3.05 Hunting For Humor

Ringtone by Weird Al Yankovic Once, not very long ago, I was respected, I was popular (popular, ooh) But now I hang my head in shame (ahh, ooh) My life is filled with such regret A bad mistake I can't forget And now I'll never be the same Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone? I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (What was I thinking?) My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call Well, everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone When my phone goes off at work I look like the biggest jerk Total strangers wanna slap me around When it's ringin' on the terrace My neighbors get embarrassed They're beggin' me to move outta town Well, it made my wife so sick She smashed my iPhone with a brick But I had it fixed, and now it's just fine It's a pain, I sure don't need it And I probably should delete it But for me that would be crossin' the line 'Cause I hate to waste a buck ninety nine Hey, I paid good money for this... Ringtone Why did I buy this stupid ringtone? I just can't imagine now what I was thinking at all (Really, what was I thinking?) My friends all stare at me whenever I get a call Well, everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody) Everybody in the world really hates my ringtone Ringtone Ringtone Ahh, ooh Chinese factory workers (they hate my ringtone) Muslim women in burqas (really hate my ringtone) Starvin' kids in Angola (they hate my ringtone) Even folks with Ebola (just hate my ringtone) All the nuns and nannies (all the welfare mothers) All the Pakistanis (all the Wayans brothers) Everyone on the land, everyone on the sea Every single person everywhere unanimously Everybody (everybody) Everybody (everybody)Everybody in the whole wide world really hates my Ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone... ringtone...

-This song is humorous because it goes on and on about how annoying his ringtone is, and how it ruined his friendship with the world. Weird Al Yankovic is known for his humorous lyrics and this song is just one of many of his masterpieces.

Drive Thru by Nancy Ness I rose this morn with much to do - Hopped in the car and off I flew. No time for breakfast, that I knew - Glad "Dunkin Donuts" has Drive Thru. In need of dollars, quite a few - Went to the bank teller's Drive Thru. Then filled all my prescriptions too - At "Pharmacy's" brand new Drive Thru. Some bills to mail in box of blue - Off to the "Post Office" Drive Thru. Picked up the laundry cleaned anew - Just stopped at "Suds & Duds" Drive Thru. With lunchtime near, my tummy's queue - Got a "Big Mac" from the Drive Thru. The car by then was low on fuel - Full serve at "Shell", just Drive on Thru. And when they fill the tank for you - Your car's washed free - in their Drive Thru. Library books were overdue - The curbside slot is a Drive Thru. Then videos must go back too - "Blockbuster" has their own Drive Thru. In need of milk and bread, I knew - I stopped at "Dairymaid's" Drive Thru. The family asked "Please, can we do - The "Drive In" show when dinner's thru???"

-This poem is humorous because it shows how our generation is so lazy. There is a drive-thru for everything, and in this poem it emphasized on how we can turn to drive-thru’s for almost everything we do.

Kentucky Fried Chicken trio photographed turning sink into hot tub BY NANCY DILLON LOS ANGELES - They serve fast food, but they're slow learners. Four months after a Burger King employee lost his job for taking a bubble bath in a restaurant sink, three scantily clad teens were fired when they turned a basin at their northern California KFC into their personal hot tub. They landed in hot water with the chicken chain's management when one of the bikini-clad dimwits made the same mistake as the Ohio Burger King employee - she posted photos of the dippy escapade on MySpace. The photos included captions such as "haha KFC showers!" and "haha we turned on the jets," and were filed under a gallery called "KFC moments," according to the Record Searchlight newspaper in Redding, Calif. The story broke before the unidentified girl could scrub public access to her profile. On her MySpace page, the girl listed herself as a 17-year-old worker at the Anderson KFC near Redding. "I'm a KFC worker, they are my best friends and my family," she said on her site. The three were suspended Tuesday - and have since been fired, said KFC spokesman Rick Maynard. "KFC has zero tolerance for violations of our operating standards, and our franchisee has taken immediate action by terminating the employees who were involved," said Maynard. An assistant manager told the Record Searchlight that no manager was on duty when the steamy photos were likely taken and that the trio closed the restaurant themselves. Burger King bagged 25-year-old Timothy Tackett in August after a four-minute video of his birthday bath in the sink of a Xenia, Ohio, restaurant landed on MySpace and YouTube. Tackett appeared to be naked in the sink. Burger King promised to work with the health department to retrain staffers in proper sanitation procedures.

-This news article is humorous because it is not something you would see every day. Turning a KFC sink into a “hot tub” is pretty much ridiculous and very hilarious… Unless you’re the manager of the franchise.

- I find this advertisement very humorous because it is a pun. Obviously this light soda can’t rise, but the picture explains that it’s so light “it floats”. It attracts consumers because it shows how the product is a little bit healthier, and the humor pulls them in deeper.

-This Comic strip is humorous because it shows how even though they’re in Candy Land and you don’t need to worry about dental plans, their teeth still rot. The first three slides of the comic show how the stick people are happy and healthy, but the last picture shows up close to his teeth and how they are rotten.

^ -This picture is humorous because it shows the different types of personalities that people have. Optimists look at the bright side, Pessimists look at the bad things, and Realists look at the real things. This picture has a normal heart as the Optimist, a broken heart for the Pessimist, and a real heart for the Realist.

-I find this comic humorous because as much as its sort of an insult, it’s also true. “You can use my timeshare in Boca Raton!” made me laugh out loud, because comedians always mention timeshares in Boca Raton.